Today I realized that all of the guys I have dated have been assholes. Big deal, you may say, welcome to my world. Well it is a big deal to me.
Let me give you an extremely brief version of my dating history. I dated my first boyfriend for four years in high school, then we broke up after I moved away to college. From then on, I have never been in another serious relationship. I have just had several flaky guys in my life – they never work out because they either just want sex or to use me for other reasons. I understand; sometimes I want sex with random strangers too, but the guys in my life have legit led me on. They ask me for my number, out to eat, or something else that makes me think they want a relationship, then end up tossing me to the side like I’m nothing to them. Sometimes I think it must be me but I have actually come to the conclusion that it’s not.
What I mean by this is that I am a nice person and I believe I am dating material. I take care of myself and have a laid-back, easy-to-get-along-with personality, and some common sense. I am myself with people and gradually open up and don’t give them everything at once – all the typical dating crap that’s supposed to work. It doesn’t.
My latest un-romantic relationship is courtesy of a guy that I’ll call Mark (remember, I want to be sorta anonymous with this!). So anyway, Mark is a complicated guy. He’s handsome and smart but kind of hard to read. I met him in class and he asked me to eat and a bunch of other stuff over the course of this semester but he still acts flaky. He tells me I’m pretty and sweet, so he must like me, yet he acts that way. What’s worse is that I continue to find out…interesting things about him.
Tonight a girl in my class group asked me if I knew Mark, seeming to recognized some connection between us even though we never let it show in class (it’s really small so that would be awkward). (PS. how do people always seem to know about your relationships out of the blue?!) Anyway, she told me that she thought he was a jerk and that she avoided him in class, making me realize what I knew all along. That I am done with him and all the assholes in general.
In conclusion, I am done with guys for a while, and I mean it this time! No homo, but I am just over men. I want to go out and have fun and forget trying so hard for all that crap that never works out – learn from my mistakes. Focus on the stuff that matters, like my future. Time to go work out.